How To Disarm Your Fears By Changing Your Narrative – Five Easy Steps

Let’s have an honest conversation about fears that may be paralyzing you as a spa owner. Your narrative may keep you from excelling in business but there is a way to disarm your fears by changing your self talk.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Do you fear being criticized by your esthetician peers? Are you afraid that you’re not good enough?

The ability to take bold actions is key for business growth. If fear is preventing you from pursuing opportunities, let’s get these fears disarmed in 5 easy steps!

Recently, I did a live stream with my dear friend and colleague, Stephanie Laynes, who has coached and mentored many estheticians on topics from speed waxing to business.

We both agreed that fear inhibits business growth and squashes many dreams. Stephanie and I both love helping estheticians break through these fears and start thriving in business.

Most spa owners start out solo. Being on your own can feel intimidating and scary!

The honest truth is – building a business takes an absurd amount of courage. It IS hard. If building a business was easy everybody would be doing it! So, if you own a business, I applaud you. You have come this far and you’re not giving up now!

What sets successful business owners apart is that they have the courage to look the fear in the eye and change the narrative. They don’t buy into their fears. These owners do not give fears power and they don’t believe negative self-talk when it happens.

What Narrative is Feeding Your Fear?

We all have narratives, or stories, that we tell ourselves. These narratives reflect our belief system and are the filters through which we view the world, therefore affecting our decisions and actions.

Positive beliefs inspire us to act while negative self-talk prevent us from taking action.

The good news is that we have “acquired” this self-talk over time. You were not born with the negative narratives that are running your life right now.

That means you have the power to change your narrative, rewrite your story, and stop feeding your fears. Here’s how:


STEP ONE: Identify the Negative Beliefs

First, we need to become aware of our negative beliefs that are holding us back. Cultivating such awareness will help you recognize that you’re not your fear so you can examine it objectively and put it in perspective.

Brené Brown suggests giving this inner critic a silly name so you don’t take it seriously. This will help you break the emotional hold the anxiety has on you and separate the fear from the rest of your thoughts.

STEP TWO: Deactivate the Narrative

Negative self-talks tend to run in loops unless you consciously deactivate them. This type of destructive self talk can turn into beliefs quickly and may paralyze you from making progress.

That’s why cultivating an awareness toward your negative narratives is so critical. Awareness allows you to pay attention to negative self talk and put a stop to it immediately.

You have the power to deactivate negative narrative.

The moment I catch myself having paralyzing thoughts, I always say, “Cancel, cancel” to stop the narrative from looping and snap myself out of the negativity. I replace a destructive thought with positive and then repeat a few times over in my mind.

STEP THREE: Build Your Confidence

Often times, we focus on things that have gone wrong or didn’t work out instead of recognizing the good. When we believe in the negative stories we’re telling ourselves, we lose confidence.

Do the self work to build up your confidence so you can stand up against those irrational fears. Strengthen those “pat yourself on the back” mental muscles to prevent negative self-talk from sabotaging your self-esteem or your progress.

STEP FOUR: Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

There’s a lot of “comparing” going on in the beauty industry, which often leads to paralysis and low self esteem.

If you’re like many of my students (and myself!), you’re probably in a lot of forums and social media groups to learn about business or network with others.

We see what other estheticians are doing and we feel bad about ourselves when we aren’t living up to that ourselves. This can be very destructive.

Run your own race and stay in your lane. Embrace your uniqueness and be more impressed with your own divine unfolding. Enjoy the journey my friend!

Keep your social media connections with others positive and uplifting. Learn from others without comparing.

Don’t Listen To Everyone

Everyone has an opinion but not every opinion matters. Seek guidance from those whose values align with your own and listen to their truths.

Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in what you do. Keep 3 to 4 peers or mentors who have positive influences in your immediate circle.

When your negative self-talk starts to sabotage something good in your life, pick up the phone and talk to one of your positive peers.

Talking allows you to gain perspective and deflate fears through an objective lens.

Building a successful beauty business is part mindset and part skillset. I’ve got you covered in the Esthetician Inner Circle, where you can get the support and training you need to become a leader in your business.

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