How To Deal With Sadness or Depression

How well do we function in our business when sadness or depression sweeps in?

My husband was deployed a couple of months ago. After I dropped him off at the airport, I came home and started crying.

Despite my effort to “gear up” for the moment and keep telling myself “I’ve got this,” I was deeply affected. After the reality of my husband saying “I’ll see you in a year” hit, I was faced with a slew of emotions.

What does this emotional time have to do with business? Turns out, everything.

As business owners, our emotions are reflected in our business no matter how hard we try to separate our personal lives from our work.

After all, we’re the face of our business. We interact with our clients, we deliver our services, and we build relationships with referral partners. Negative feelings, whether they’re sadness, anger or fear, can affect our behaviors and become debilitating for both our businesses and ourselves.

Not to mention, as estheticians and spa owners, we know clients come to us not just to have someone put fancy creams on their faces.

Our clients come to us to relax and feel great. They want a calm and peaceful energy when they receive their treatments.

If you bring negative emotions into your space, clients may not be able to put their fingers on that funky energy but I guarantee they won’t be feeling as good after their treatments and will start wondering if they want to keep coming back to your spa.

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel your emotions. It’s absolutely okay, in fact, I think it’s necessary to feel and process them. This is what makes us human and without these experiences, we wouldn’t even be able to connect with our clients.

But the key is to cultivate the awareness so you don’t get sucked into a downward spiral.

Let me say upfront that I’m by no means perfect! I am an emotional being and have my own insecurities. I consider myself a work-in-progress. However, I’ve created a ritual that has saved my sanity and my life, not to mention my business that depends on me showing up every day with a calm energy and positive attitude.

When your feelings are taking you down to a dark place of sadness and depression, here are a few things you can do to break the cycle and balance your emotions:

1. Get Up and Move

It’s easy to curl up in bed or just sit around and sulk. Try not to.

When we’re sitting, we tend to hunch and that sends a negative emotional signal to our brain.

After I sent off my husband and went home crying, my dog, Schatzi, came and sat at my feet, reminding me of what I needed to do next so I didn’t slip into a downward spiral.

So I got up and went for a walk outside with my dog. I looked at the beautiful Hawaiian mountains, flowers, and sky. All of a sudden I felt much better. In fact, I felt uplifted and grateful!

Here’s another story I don’t share much. About 12 years ago a very dear friend lost her son and her husband in separate motorcycle accidents 6 months apart. When I visited my friend, she was always surrounded by many friends and family members.

These family members and friends were very comforting but the energy in the house felt stuck. So I just grabbed her and said, “”Okay, Judy, let’s go! We’re going for a walk.”

And we kept doing that every day. We just walked around the neighborhood and enjoyed some fresh air and sunshine. I had her focus on the trees, people, and different objects. All I did was to pull her back into the moment and appreciate nature. And it worked. Just last month, my sweet friend lost her youngest son, so now her entire immediate family is gone. We always think our situation is bad until we hear someone else’s story.

Go outside, take a walk and smile at anyone who crosses your path. Take notice of your surroundings. Really look at things. Notice the beauty. This will get your feel-good hormones, endorphins, pumping – there’s actual science supporting this!

And why limit that beautiful smile of yours?

Smile at people and smile at yourself in the mirror. Smile while you’re doing the dishes. The muscle movement tells your brain that you’re feeling good and in turn, you’ll actually feel better!

2. Get Inspired

I listen to people who inspire me. I love podcasts and training that lift me up. I love Brené Brown, Maya Angelou, and Simon Sinek. There are many inspiring speakers out there and it’s not hard to find the ones that resonate with you and lift you up.

You can listen to them while you’re out for a walk, or when you have finished your physical activities. It’s important to get yourself into the right kind of headspace and mindset before you interact with your clients.

3. Practice Gratitude

I know, it may sound like a cliché because we’re hearing about this a lot lately. But I kind of take gratitude seriously. Life is short. I can’t tell you how many times a day I thank my doggie. She must think her name is “thank you.”

Write down 3 – 5 things that you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be anything big. It could even be as simple as “wow, the sun came out and I get to enjoy such a beautiful day!”

If we write down the things we’re grateful for, all of a sudden our woes just become insignificant compared to what we have going for us. We have the power to change the conversation in our head.

If we are to become leaders in our industry, we have to first master our own psychology. Share on X

4. Help Someone Out

Give a helping hand to someone who is in a worse situation than you are. Share on X

This requires you to step back and take the focus off yourself. In turn, it could help you see your challenges in the larger context.

Get out there and be of service. Go volunteer and help those truly in need. If you’re willing to lift others up, others will also step in to lift you up.

Remember, if we’re bogged down by our negative emotions we can cripple ourselves and paralyze our businesses.

Are we going to let the downward spiral to continue, or are we going to take charge of our circumstances?

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